Kinship in Islam: The Major Sin That Can Block You From Jannah

Humans are social beings. None of us can live alone. Our lives revolve around the bonds of various relationships. In this web of connections, the most important and inseparable part is ‘kinship.’ People connected by blood or marriage are each other’s ‘relatives.’ This bond of kinship is deeply intertwined with individuals, families, and society. People survive on Earth with the cooperation, love, and empathy of their relatives. Without this relationship, life becomes lonely, dull, and isolated. In Islam, this bond is not seen merely as a social courtesy; rather, it is considered a part of faith (Iman) and a significant command from Allah the Almighty. The principle of Kinship in Islam is called ‘Silatur Rahim’ (صلة الرحم), or upholding the ties of kinship. This profoundly important subject is the focus of our detailed discussion today.

What is Silatur Rahim? Defining Kinship in Islam

Who Are Relatives?

The word ‘relative’ means kin, family, or relations. The Arabic equivalent is الرَّحِمُ (Ar-Rahim). In terminological terms, relatives are those with whom one has a genealogical or blood connection, whether they are entitled to inherit from each other or not.

Types of Kinship:

There are primarily two types of kinship:

1. Blood Relations: Such as parents, siblings, grandparents, paternal aunts and uncles, maternal aunts and uncles, and their children.
2. Marital Relations: Such as parents-in-law, siblings-in-law, etc.

The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) alluded to both types of relationships when he instructed good treatment of the Egyptians. This is because Hajar (AS), the mother of Prophet Ismail (AS), was Egyptian (a blood relation), and Maria al-Qibtiyya (RA), a wife of the Prophet (PBUH), was also Egyptian (a marital relation).

The Significance of Kinship Ties:

The core significance of ‘Silatur Rahim,’ or maintaining kinship ties, is to keep in touch with one’s relatives, treat them with kindness and respect, stand by them in their times of need, and show them grace and sympathy. Even if they live far away or misbehave, making an effort to connect with them is what constitutes truly upholding the bond. The emphasis on Kinship in Islam is about selfless connection, not just reciprocation.

The Ruling and Status of Kinship in Islam

Maintaining the bond of kinship is one of the fundamental commands of Islam. While the ruling may vary based on the situation, in general, it is Wajib (obligatory) to keep ties with all relatives, and Haram (forbidden) and a major sin to sever them.

1. Fard (Mandatory):

Upholding the relationship with one’s parents and treating them well is a Fard (mandatory duty) of the highest order. Allah Ta’ala says:

وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلاَّ تَعْبُدُواْ إِلاَّ إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا

“And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment.”

(Surah Al-Isra, 17:23)

The Prophet (PBUH) mentioned disobedience to parents as the greatest major sin after Shirk (associating partners with Allah). (Sahih Bukhari, Hadith No. 5976)

2. Permissible (In the Case of Non-Muslim Relatives):

Even if relatives are non-Muslims, ties with them should not be severed. Asma bint Abi Bakr (RA) said that her mother, who was a polytheist, came to visit her. She asked the Messenger of Allah (PBUH),

“Should I maintain good relations with her?” He replied, “Yes, maintain good relations with your mother.”

(Sahih Bukhari, Hadith No. 2620)

What is True Maintenance of Kinship?

Many people think, “I will only keep in touch with those who keep in touch with me.” This is not truly upholding family ties in islam; it is merely reciprocation or exchange. True maintenance of kinship is to reconnect the bond even when it is on the verge of being broken by the other side.

The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said:

“The one who maintains the ties of kinship is not the one who reciprocates. Rather, the one who maintains the ties of kinship is the one who, when his relatives sever the bond, reconnects it.”

(Sahih Bukhari, Hadith No. 5991)

A man came to the Prophet (PBUH) and said,

“O Messenger of Allah! I have relatives who sever ties with me, and I treat them well, but they treat me badly.” The Prophet (PBUH) said, “If it is as you say, then it is as if you are feeding them hot ashes. As long as you continue to do so, a helper from Allah will remain with you against them.”

(Sahih Muslim, Hadith No. 2558)

The Blessings of Kinship in Islam

By practicing ‘Silatur Rahim,’ one can attain innumerable blessings in both this world (Dunya) and the Hereafter (Akhirah).

1. Increase in Provision (Rizq) and Life Span (Hayat):

This is one of the greatest worldly benefits of maintaining kinship. The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said:

“Whoever wishes for his provision (Rizq) to be expanded and his lifespan to be extended, let him maintain his ties of kinship.”

(Sahih Bukhari, Hadith No. 5986)

2. A Direct Connection with Allah:

The word ‘Rahim’ (kinship) is derived from Allah’s name ‘Ar-Rahman’ (The Most Merciful). This linguistic link highlights the divine origin and sacredness of Kinship in Islam. In a Hadith Qudsi, Allah Ta’ala says:

“I am ‘Ar-Rahman,’ and I created ‘Ar-Rahim’ (the womb/kinship)… Whoever maintains it, I will maintain a connection with him. And whoever severs it, I will sever My connection with him.”

(Sunan Abu Dawud, Hadith No. 1694)

3. A Path to Jannah (Paradise):

Upholding kinship ties is one of the easiest ways to enter Paradise. The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said:

“O people! Spread Salam (greetings of peace), feed others, maintain the ties of kinship, and pray at night when people are asleep, (then) you will enter Paradise in peace.”

(Jami` at-Tirmidhi, Hadith No. 2485)

4. A Sign of Complete Faith (Iman):

The Prophet (PBUH) said,

“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him maintain his ties of kinship.”

(Sahih Bukhari, Hadith No. 6138)

5. Swift Reward:

The Prophet (PBUH) said, “There is no act of obedience to Allah that brings a swifter reward than maintaining the ties of kinship.” (Bayhaqi)

6. Increase in Mutual Love:

Maintaining bonds strengthens affection, harmony, and love within the family.

Severing Family Ties: Dire Consequences

Just as Islam has promised rewards for the one who maintains ties, it has also issued severe warnings of punishment for the one who severs them (known in Arabic as ‘Qati’ur Rahim’).

1. Denial of Entry into Jannah:

Severing kinship is a major sin. Its punishment is severe. The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) unequivocally declared:

“The one who severs the ties of kinship will not enter Paradise.”

(Sahih Bukhari, Hadith No. 5984; Sahih Muslim, Hadith No. 2556)

This stark warning underscores how seriously Kinship in Islam is taken.

2. Receiving Allah’s Curse (La’nat):

Allah curses those who create corruption on earth and sever family bonds. Allah Ta’ala says:

فَهَلْ عَسَيْتُمْ إِن تَوَلَّيْتُمْ أَن تُفْسِدُوا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَتُقَطِّعُوا أَرْحَامَكُمْ ﴿٢٢﴾ أُولَئِكَ الَّذِينَ لَعَنَهُمُ اللَّهُ فَأَصَمَّهُمْ وَأَعْمَىٰ أَبْصَارَهُمْ ﴿٢٣

“So would you perhaps, if you were given authority, cause corruption on earth and sever your [ties of] kinship? Those are the ones whom Allah has cursed, so He made them deaf and blinded their vision.”

(Surah Muhammad, 47:22-23)

3. Swift Punishment in This World:

Some sins are such that their punishment is given in this world in addition to the Hereafter. The Prophet (PBUH) said:

“There is no sin more deserving of swift punishment from Allah in this world, in addition to what is reserved for the perpetrator in the Hereafter, than rebellion and severing the ties of kinship.”

(Sunan Abu Dawud, Hadith No. 4902)

4. Included Among the Transgressors and Losers:

وَمَا يُضِلُّ بِهِ إِلَّا الْفَاسِقِينَ ﴿٢٦﴾ الَّذِينَ يَنقُضُونَ عَهْدَ اللَّهِ مِن بَعْدِ مِيثَاقِهِ وَيَقْطَعُونَ مَا أَمَرَ اللَّهُ بِهِ أَن يُوصَلَ وَيُفْسِدُونَ فِي الْأَرْضِ ۚ أُولَئِكَ هُمُ الْخَاسِرُونَ ﴿٢٧

Allah Ta’ala has described those who sever ties as ‘Fasiqin’ (transgressors) and ‘Khasirin’ (losers).

(Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:26-27)

Common Reasons Why People Sever Family Ties

In real life, we see fractures in this sacred bond for many reasons. The main causes include:

• Ignorance: Not knowing the virtues of maintaining family ties in islam and the sin of severing them.
• Lack of Taqwa (God-consciousness): When fear of Allah is weak, people do not hesitate to destroy relationships for worldly interests.
• Arrogance: Looking down on poorer or less privileged relatives after attaining wealth or high status.
• Stinginess: Staying away out of fear that relatives will ask for financial help or that one will have to spend money on them.
• Envy and Malice: Feeling jealous of another relative’s success or achievements, which breeds animosity.
• Worldly Busyness: Using the excuse of “no time” to avoid contact for years.
• Inheritance or Property Disputes: Delays or injustice in the distribution of inheritance is a primary cause of broken ties and a failure to uphold the principles of Kinship in Islam.
• Slander and Suspicion: Spreading gossip and holding negative assumptions about others.
• Excessive Criticism or Joking: Some people ridicule or taunt in such a way that it wounds the self-respect of others.

Practical and Effective Ways to Uphold Family Bonds in Islam

In this busy era, maintaining relationships may seem challenging, but with a little goodwill and a few steps, this bond can be kept strong:

1. Visiting and Communication: The first step is to visit in person. If that is not possible, at least keep in regular contact through phone calls, messages, or video calls.
2. Good Conduct and Forgiveness: Speak with a smile, show respect, and avoid arguments over trivial matters. If someone makes a mistake or behaves rudely, adopt an attitude of forgiveness.
3. Financial Support and Gifts: If any relative is in need, provide financial assistance according to your ability. The Prophet (PBUH) said that giving charity to a relative carries a double reward: one for the charity and one for maintaining kinship. (Jami` at-Tirmidhi, Hadith No. 658)
4. Exchanging Gifts (Hadiya): Give small gifts from time to time. The Prophet (PBUH) said, “Exchange gifts, you will love one another.”
5. Standing by in Good Times and Bad: Attend invitations for weddings, ‘Aqiqah, or other events. Visit them when they are sick and be empathetic when they are in trouble.
6. Inviting to the Right Path: The greatest right of kinship is to strive for their guidance, enjoin them to do good, and advise them to refrain from evil.
7. Reconciling Disputes: If a dispute arises among relatives, take the initiative to resolve it.
8. Doing it for Allah’s Sake: The primary intention for maintaining family ties in islam must be to please Allah. Continue to fulfill your duty even if a relative does not reciprocate, because Allah Himself will provide the reward.

Conclusion:

The bond of kinship is not just a blood tie; it is a part of our Iman. This highlights the Importance of family in Islam. It is an investment that enriches both our life in this world (increase in provision and lifespan) and our Hereafter (attaining Jannah). Even in his final moments, the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) warned his Ummah, saying, “Your relatives, your relatives! (Be careful about them!)”

Therefore, let us, amidst our busy lives, nurture our roots, keep in touch with our relatives, and strengthen these beautiful relationships for the sake of Allah. May Allah grant us all the Tawfiq (ability) to do so – Ameen!