Islamic Reminders on Manners and Social Gatherings

As social beings, we naturally gather for various reasons, and there is nothing inherently wrong with coming together. However, Islam raises an objection when antisocial elements mix with this social interaction. This is the Fitrah (natural disposition) of Islam—it never permits anything antisocial or evil. This article serves as one of many Islamic reminders on how to socialize consciously.

The Purpose of Creation and Worship: Core Islamic Reminders

Islam desires that every moment of our lives be directed toward our ultimate goal. In other words, the purpose of our creation should be fulfilled. As Allah the Almighty says:

وَمَا خَلَقْتُ الْجِنَّ وَالْإِنسَ إِلَّا لِيَعْبُدُونِ

“And I did not create the jinn and humankind except to worship Me.”

(Surah Adh-Dhariyat (51):56)

Shaytan’s Infiltration in Gatherings

A “hangout” or casual gathering is typically where a few peers or like-minded individuals freely express their thoughts. Whenever such gatherings or conversations lack defined boundaries, they fall under the control of Shaytan. Shaytan’s only objective is to lead people toward evil deeds, freeing them from the servitude of their Lord and enlisting them in his own party. The consequence of this is Hellfire. As Allah the Almighty says:

إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ لَكُمْ عَدُوٌّ فَاتَّخِذُوهُ عَدُوًّا ۚ إِنَّمَا يَدْعُو حِزْبَهُ لِيَكُونُوا مِنْ أَصْحَابِ السَّعِيرِ

“Indeed, Shaytan is an enemy to you; so take him as an enemy. He only invites his party to be among the companions of the Blaze.”

(Surah Fatir (35):6)

The nature of our hangouts or conversations primarily depends on the participants. Therefore, the more participants there are who are ignorant of the Islamic way of life, the more opportunities Shaytan will have to cleverly introduce irrelevant or evil topics.

Common Negative Aspects of Gatherings: Islamic Reminders on What to Avoid

Often, a gathering may start with an innocent purpose but, through Shaytan’s temptations, gradually veer toward various un-Islamic topics.

1. Idle and Perilous Talk Obscene discussions, backbiting (Gheebah), or disrespectful jokes are fundamentally the result of a lack of Islamic practice. Yet, even a single pointless word can lead a person toward Hell. The warning from the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) is one of the most critical Islamic reminders on this topic:

“Indeed, a person may say a word that causes him to fall into the Hellfire a distance greater than that between the East and the West.”

[Musnad Ahmad, As-Sahiha: 540]

2. Lying to Make Others Laugh A primary goal in our gatherings is often to make everyone laugh. The person who can make people laugh the most becomes the most popular. To achieve this, lying becomes something of an art form. However, our beloved Prophet (ﷺ) sternly warned against this:

“Woe to the one who tells lies to make people laugh. Woe to him! Woe to him!”

[Tirmidhi: 2315]

3. In today’s gatherings, it is often felt that they don’t become lively without the mixing of non-mahram individuals. Yet, Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) has honored women through their privacy. There is no good in a woman displaying her beauty; rather, it is an act of disobedience to her Lord. The presence of non-mahrams in such gatherings only serves to fulfill Shaytan’s objectives. As the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:

“A woman is an object of concealment. When she leaves her house, Shaytan looks at her to tempt her.” [Tirmidhi; Mishkat, Hadith/3109]

4. Gheebah (Backbiting) A component of almost every gathering is discussing the faults of others—for instance, which guy is “boring,” which girl is “stuck-up,” or which person is “antisocial.” Without such criticism, gatherings seem to become dull. Therefore, Shaytan cunningly mixes it into the conversation. Islam identifies such fault-finding as ‘Gheebah’ and has strictly forbidden it. Regarding this, Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) says in the Quran:

وَلَا يَغْتَب بَّعْضُكُم بَعْضًا ۚ أَيُحِبُّ أَحَدُكُمْ أَن يَأْكُلَ لَحْمَ أَخِيهِ مَيْتًا فَكَرِهْتُمُوهُ

“…And do not backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it.”

(Surah Al-Hujurat (49):12)

Praiseworthy and Blessed Gatherings

We have discussed the various aspects of our daily hangouts. However, there are also gatherings where Shaytan has no influence. Instead, angels descend upon them, making them blessed. This is because, in these gatherings, the Lord of the Worlds, Allah the Almighty, is praised, and discussions about the religion of Allah take place, filled with beneficial Islamic reminders. Regarding gatherings held in remembrance of Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala), the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:

“No people sit in a gathering remembering Allah, but the angels surround them, mercy covers them, and Allah mentions them to those who are with Him.”

[Muslim: 2700; Tirmidhi: 1425]

Conclusion

In conclusion, who we socialize with and what we discuss will all be laid bare before our Lord. Therefore, let these matters not be a cause of shame for us on that Day. Let us participate in gatherings where Allah is remembered and which can be a means of salvation in the Hereafter. Finally, I end with two hadiths from the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) on this subject:

“A man will be with those whom he loves (on the Day of Resurrection).”

[Riyad as-Salihin: 372]

“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak good or else remain silent.”

[Bukhari, Muslim]

“Let us participate in gatherings where Allah is remembered and which become a means of salvation in the Hereafter.”